


through thick and thin

by SomewhereNotHere



Category: Persona 4, Persona Series
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Domestic Fluff, Eating Disorders, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Living Together, M/M, Mentions of YukiChie, Post-Canon, SouYo Zine 2017
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-03 14:06:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12749835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomewhereNotHere/pseuds/SomewhereNotHere
Summary: Souji's always there for him, no matter what he's been through, and Yosuke's right there for him too.





	through thick and thin

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [SouYo Zine 2017](https://souyozine.tictail.com/r), which you can still purchase via the link here, and it's for a fantastic cause. I'm so happy to have been a part of this, and I hope you all like it!

"You need to eat more."  
  
Jolting, Souji drops the water bottle in his hand. It rolls a few feet away from him, almost falling down towards a group of school girls, but Yosuke steps back and kicks out his foot to stop it from rolling further.  
  
Picking up the bottle with a sigh, Yosuke opens the cap and takes a swig before returning it to Souji whose head hangs low.  
  
It's not the first time Yosuke's said those words to him.  
  
Souji hates it.  
  
"I know."  
  
"Looking after kids is one thing, but you gotta look after yourself to do that," Yosuke walks down the path, Souji following, and he leans against a bicycle railing, "If you were a part-timer maybe it'd be different, but you're the manager. It's stressful, right? If you need me to make you lunch to help, just lemme know."  
  
"No," Souji shakes his head, looking to the side at a neon sign that reads 'Book Shop'.  
  
It's late afternoon, school's out for the day, and the streets of Shibuya are bustling with people as always.  
  
Souji catches a look of his reflection in the shop window and even he can see he's thinner in the face than he should be. Underneath his clothes? Well, he'd avoided the mirror this morning, but he hates to imagine how he might look.  
  
"You need to study for the upcoming exams. Law is hard enough without me getting in the way, and--"  
  
"That's bullshit, Souji! You... you wouldn't get in the way, alright? You don't and never will. Hell! A sandwich won't take me an hour to make, give me more credit than that."  
  
Souji looks back and Yosuke is smiling, albeit with a guilty expression on his face that Souji knows all too well. His smile is infectious and Souji smiles back, mumbling "it's okay" and Yosuke sighs dramatically, only just hearing it.  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Geez, partner, you've been this way since high school. Everyone's 'Mr. Saviour', but hiding your own problems. You don't need to do that anymore. Got it?"  
  
Yosuke reaches out and takes Souji's hand in his, rubbing his thumb over Souji's knuckles in a calming motion.  
  
Souji nods.  
  
"Got it... Thank you, Yosuke."  
  
"It's what I'm here for."

 

* * *

 

The apartment is decently sized for an occupancy of two, though smaller than most neighbouring apartments. City living is expensive, but with Yosuke working a part-time job at the café near where they live, two streets down from the apartment, they get on by.  
  
"I thought I'd be done with uni quickly, you know," Yosuke speaks absentmindedly where he sits on the floor on a cushion in front of the small table near the TV, "Didn't think I'd get into this course that lasts so long... didn't think I'd take this long to start it, either."  
  
The papers and textbooks on the table all have colour-coded index tabs used in them, notes taped all over them too. Studying had never been Yosuke's forte, but after dropping out of one course in another university, he'd even visited Naoto for support.  
  
_"A detective's mind would help, or something like that..."_ he'd joked at the time, clearly embarrassed.  
  
Naoto had been more than happy to.  
  
"That wasn't your fault."  
  
Yosuke grimaces at Souji's voice from the kitchen area, believing the exact opposite; he'd dropped out over anxiety, of all the things. Not a physical injury, but all because of his shitty brain.  
  
"Yeah? I dunno."  
  
Souji was right, Yosuke knew that deep down, but...  
  
It was hard to believe it himself.  
  
"Besides," Souji continues, bringing over chopsticks and two steaming hot bowls of ramen, 'the good kind' as dubbed by Yosuke, "From what you've shown me, it looks like you're getting on just fine. I've never seen double digit marks like that."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Okay, that was an exaggeration; double digit marks _that high_ from you."  
  
"Shut up," Yosuke chuckles, taking one of the bowls from Souji and then he nudges his books to the side with his elbow, "I'm kinda proud though. Feels good to know I'm smart."  
  
"Of course you are, always have been."  
  
Yosuke thanks Souji for the food, tucking in as soon as possible, but instantly regrets his hastiness and burns his tongue in the process. Souji laughs at him and Yosuke glares, shrugging the pain off. As soon as it's cool enough, he'll wolf it down without delay.  
  
It's a familiar routine they have; when long days take their toll on them, they sit together like this with comfort food, talking about anything and everything while the low volume of the TV acts as background music more than anything else.  
  
"Chie and Yukiko got engaged recently."  
  
Yosuke bangs his hand against his chest to stop himself from choking, but the attempt is futile. He stares wide-eyed at Souji until he looks up to meet his gaze, head cocked to the side.  
  
"You didn't know?"  
  
Yosuke aggressively points at his textbooks with the chopsticks.  
  
"Study isolation, but seriously!?"  
  
"A few weeks ago," Souji nods, turning up the volume on the TV a little to hear the news, "Chie called me and told me to wish you good luck from the both of them too."  
  
Yosuke groans about "pressure", it's a childish sound that Souji laughs at, but Yosuke clutches the chopsticks in his hands harder than he needs to.  
  
Kanji had his own small crafts business, Naoto was working harder than ever as a detective, Rise was number one in the charts again, and now Chie and Yukiko were engaged as well. As for Teddie? Even he was busy, being a mascot not only for Kanji, but getting to go with Rise every now and then too.  
  
All of his friends were out of education, getting on with their lives, and he was dragging his heels just trying to finish and pass university this time.  
  
But hey, he was used to disappointing others, especially himself.  
  
Yosuke keeps his head down and pushes the chopsticks around the last of the noodles in his bowl.  
  
"You okay, Yosuke?"  
  
Souji sounds so terribly concerned that he knows he must be making a face right now, and Yosuke can't bring himself to look at him.  
  
He feels like throwing up, but it's fine. He's used to this, it sucks, but he's so used to it that it's laughable. He's shaking inside, but he nods and waves a hand at Souji.  
  
Souji says nothing more and leaves it be.

 

* * *

 

 

His throat hurts, head thumps, nose burns, and he's trying so, so, _so_ hard not to have a panic attack. Yosuke's tired enough as it is, and he doesn't want to throw up anymore than he already has.  
  
"Stupid, pathetic idiot..."  
  
It's 2AM and his hands are gripping the edges of the toilet as he keeps his head hovering over it for a moment, worried he'll be sick yet again.  
  
Four times. His nose is running but he's gone past caring now.  
  
"Get it together, Hanamura."  
  
He needs to calm down if he doesn't wish to wake Souji up. He needs to calm down if he doesn't want to break down completely and drop out like last time.  
  
He needs to calm down so that he...  
  
"Yosuke..." he's sobbing now and Souji grabs a tissue to wipe his eyes and another to wipe his nose.  
  
Souji berates himself internally, angry that it took him this long to walk in and let Yosuke know that he's not alone. The unbearable and constant weight in his chest that spread throughout his body kept him from doing most things, but this? It wasn't right.  
  
"Shh, it's okay. Breathe. I'm right here."  
  
"We sure are a pair, huh?"  
  
Souji sighs and helps Yosuke lift himself up off the floor. He's wobbly on his feet, exhausted, but not as white in the face as he could be.  
  
"I'm sor--"  
  
"Don't," Souji cuts him off and kisses his forehead, then proceeds to guide him back to the bedroom, "You told me not to apologise, right? Then it's the same for you."  
  
Yosuke loves him; he loves him so much it hurts. He wants to drag his nails down his own face, to cry, to scream, but at the same time he wants nothing more than to wake up lazily in the morning and spend the whole day relaxing in bed with Souji beside him.  
  
To keep Souji from his work would be selfish, he was the one that contributed towards food and the apartment the most, yet some days Yosuke's anxiety was so... overwhelming, and _debilitating_ , that it took all of his strength not to plead for Souji to stay home.  
  
He hated when Souji dealt with his panic attacks especially, but he hated going through everything alone even more.  
  
"Sometimes all I want to do is sleep all day," Souji sighs once they're both in bed and comfortable under the covers, "It's... difficult."  
  
"Yeah, I know what you mean."  
  
Yosuke moves onto his side to face Souji and brushes his hair away from his eyes. He looks as tired as Yosuke feels.  
  
"But," Yosuke clears his throat, leaning forward to kiss Souji's lips, "I'm always here."  
  
Souji smiles.  
  
"Right back at you, Yosuke."

 

* * *

 

 

The sound of screaming children never appealed to Yosuke, even if the children in the day care centre weren't actually screaming at this particular moment in time. There was a lot of laughter, some crying from having fallen over, but on the whole they were acting... civilised.  
  
"Hana-san," Souji calls to one of the women standing by, "Could you introduce this group to the others and show them around?"  
  
"Sure thing, Boss!"  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Souji bows and smiles, ushering the new parents and children in her direction. He can tell just from looking that there may be troublemakers in the group, but it's something that him and his team have been able to cope with for the last three years.  
  
"I don't get how you deal with them all day."  
  
Yosuke follows Souji out of the main room and back to the front desk with two lunch boxes in his hands, watching as Souji files away the physical admission forms and updates the lists on the computer.  
  
"How did you tame them? What's the secret?"  
  
"Well I also deal with you," Souji chuckles and removes his badge and uniform apron, placing them neatly in the drawer underneath the desk, "Plus they're not pets, Yosuke."  
  
Yosuke rolls his eyes and hands Souji his lunch for the day. He was in a rush this morning for his exams, so they only have pre-packed convenience store sandwiches, fruit, yogurt, and various snacks he'd grabbed from the kitchen cupboards. They both had energy drinks, although Yosuke's was now empty after the stress of the exams got the better of him.  
  
"Water?"  
  
Souji holds out a bottle as Yosuke takes a seat beside him. He was always one step ahead, though Yosuke figured he had to be when dealing with children.  
  
"Thanks. You know, you're looking healthier today. Stomach all good?"  
  
"Mm, I think so. Hana-san ended up grabbing me a sandwich herself this morning. I didn't realise the "weird noise" had been coming from myself and not one of the kids."  
  
"That's cute," Yosuke laughs and kisses Souji, grinning from ear to ear, "It means your stomach's no longer shrunk. I'm glad you're able to eat again."  
  
"Me too."  
  
"Still taking your meds?"  
  
Souji finishes all his food and sighs, but it's a happy sound, almost like he's relieved.  
  
"I love you."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
Yosuke blinks and Souji scratches the back of his neck, visibly embarrassed. Although they were always open with each other, it was still rare for him to see Souji like this.  
  
He smiles.  
  
"I love you. And yes, haven't missed a day since I got the new prescription. Your reminders help."  
  
Yosuke smiles wider and finally shoves the last of his food in his mouth, the anxiety of his unknown results all but forgotten.  
  
Souji felt better, he looked better, and Yosuke's exams were now over. He'd done his best studying, Souji had helped every now and then testing him with flashcards, and he felt... somewhat confident, which was better than not confident at all.  
  
"The advanced class had their exams last month, so Akiyama already knows his results. He went and asked the girl he liked out, too. Can't believe he was betting on his highest grade for that."  
  
"The one whose little brother is at our centre?"  
  
"That's the one," Yosuke nods and takes a sip of water, "If we weren't already dating, I'd ask you out after receiving mine."  
  
"You can ask me anyway."  
  
"You're cheesy."  
  
"Maybe," Souji shrugs and Yosuke nudges him, causing them both to laugh, "But you love me, so it's fine."  
  
"It's more than fine, much more than you realise."  
  
Somehow Souji feels like the last part wasn't meant to be said out loud. He ruffles Yosuke's hair, much to his annoyance, and presses his lips to his forehead.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"For what exactly?"  
  
"Being you."

 

* * *

 

 

There's a park down the road from the university that Yosuke often wanders around on the quieter days of his course, with music playing low through his headphones so he can still hear the cyclists that share the same path he walks on. It's usually a quiet park, and today is no different as he walks the route he always takes. Various flowerbeds decorate the edges of the path, all different colours, and it reminds him of the vegetable patch that Souji and Nanako grew back at the Dojima household in Inaba.  
  
Yosuke outwardly chuckles, glad that his surroundings are all but empty, save for the odd cyclist passing by, and the birds flying past up into the trees.  
  
He's holding an A4 size brown envelope in his right hand tightly, tapping it against his leg to the rhythm of his music. The envelope's sealed flap has been broken already, but he holds it down enough so the contents don't slip out.  
  
There's nothing but papers with letters and numbers on inside anyway.  
  
Yosuke keeps walking, pulling his phone out of his left trouser pocket awkwardly to stop his music before pushing his phone back inside. He pulls his headphones off his head so they fall around his neck comfortably, and raises a hand in the air when he sees a head of hair he recognises from one of the wooden benches.  
  
"Yo!" Yosuke calls out to his boyfriend, and Souji looks up as he walks over and sits beside him.  
  
"Hey." Souji smiles, but his face is soon one of confusion as Yosuke passes him the envelope.  
  
"Already checked, take a look."  
  
Yosuke's right leg is bouncing while Souji opens the envelope, and he can't hide his grin when Souji's eyes widen at first before his expression softens. The papers inside are the usual spiel of how someone has done in their course and the exams, while the front paper is the only thing anyone who ever needs to open such an envelope cares about first and foremost.  
  
The grades are what Yosuke needed-- No, they're more than that, they're higher than they've _ever_ been, and Souji couldn't be more proud of him if he tried.  
  
"I'm--"  
  
"I know."  
  
Yosuke wraps his arms around Souji in a hug so tight that he wonders if Yosuke will ever let go. It's nice to be embraced, but he thinks breathing sure is too. He makes a dramatic wheezing sound and Yosuke let's go, pushing his shoulder.  
  
"Proud, right?" Yosuke laughs and runs a hand through his hair, "I know I am..."  
  
"You should be. I told you that you're smart."  
  
"Yeah, well, not with everything."  
  
Maybe Yosuke wasn't, but no one was perfect, and neither was Souji. Even those in the advanced class of Yosuke's course ended up lacking common sense.  
  
Yosuke lets out a heavy sigh and stands up to move in front of Souji. He clears his throat and takes a bow, a blush creeping onto his cheeks.  
  
"Guess I should ask you out now, huh?"  
  
"You're playing along with it?"  
  
Souji didn't expect Yosuke to take his words to heart at the time they talked at the day care centre, but it was endearing all the same. Yosuke had come to be full of surprises ever since they moved away from Inaba.  
  
"Just shut up and listen," Yosuke ruffles Souji's hair, "I don't know what I'd do without you sometimes..."  
  
"Hey," Souji places his hand atop Yosuke's that rests on his head, giving him a gentle squeeze, "We should be celebrating, don't worry about anything else right now. It can wait till we get home."  
  
"Wanna head to Shibuya again sometime?"  
  
Yosuke lets go of Souji's head and steps backwards a few steps to give them space, placing his hands in his pockets. If Souji didn't know any better, he'd say Yosuke was bored.  
  
"So you can raid the arcades like last time? I don't think you need to blow off steam after receiving marks like those."  
  
"No, but it's a pretty important place, right? Or, uh… _will be_..."  
  
"I'm not sure I'm following."  
  
Of course Souji wasn't, Yosuke was talking in riddles and mentally reprimanding himself for it.  
  
_'Get it together, Hanamura.'_  
  
At least this time he wasn't throwing up down a toilet, although he felt he might just need to with his anxiety spiking as each second passed.  
  
"It's a place where," Yosuke pauses, taking his hands out of his pockets with something in his right, "People like us... can marry."  
  
"Oh."  
  
_... Oh._  
  
"Ugh, damn it, this isn't how I planned this at all."  
  
Yosuke groans and runs a hand down his face, all the while slowly lowering himself to kneel one leg down on the floor with Souji staring at him.  
  
"What I mean to say is... You're my partner, always have been, but it'd be great if we could become... something more official. Will you marry me?"  
  
"And here I thought I'd be the one to propose. I had it all planned out too."  
  
"Yeah, well, I was getting tired of being the one always following rather than getting off my own ass and doing something. Proposing seemed like the best way to do that."  
  
Souji leans forward with a chuckle, kissing his nose. He tugs on Yosuke's arm and ushers him to sit back up on the bench. Once Yosuke's sat down again, there's a playful smirk on his face.  
  
"Yes, I will marry you. We're practically married already."  
  
"You can say that again," Yosuke carefully picks the ring out of the box and places it on Souji's finger, "... But are you sure? I don't wanna drag you down."  
  
He didn't need to say "how" for Souji to pick up on what he was actually trying to say.  
  
"You won't, and hopefully I won't for you," Souji leans in and kisses Yosuke on the lips, hovering for much longer than he needs to afterwards, "I love you."  
  
He can feel Yosuke's lips turning up into a smile against his own.  
  
"I love you too."


End file.
